Dearest
by Elle Mariet
Summary: A collection of one-shots surrounded by different songs from Evanescence. Regular paring, all characters, strong violence, and language.
1. Bring Me To Life

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

Chapter 1: Bring me to life.

Song: **Bring me to life - Evanescence.**

Summary: During a demon battle Inuyasha transforms into a full fledge demon, once again. While everyone stands and watches helplessly, Kagome relfects on the past and how it's changed from their relationship and his demonic transformations that are getting more and more serious each time he transforms, a piece of his soul getting lost during the process. She wants to change him back, but what if he's gone too far?

Language: English.

Rating: M for mild horror and gore.

Genre 1 and 2: Horror and Hurt/Comfort.

Character 1 and 2: Inuyasha and Kagome.

POV in story: Third person.

POV in song: Inuyasha.

...

The group had taken a quick break from collecting the jewel shards, as there was usually a cry for help in the fudel era. They took refuge in a small village that begged them to slay the nasty demon that plagued them. Since Naraku mysteriously vanished, demons had been coming out of hiding and wreaking havoc on anything that came close to a meal. Many lives were lost and it was getting harder to survive.

Inuyasha had refused at first, not wanting anything to do with it. "It's none of our business, besides, we have more important things to do." He had said, but Miroku was interested in getting payed a hefty sum and trying to get anyone he could get his hands on to bear his children. Kagome and Sango were dying for a hot bath to relax their tired muscles and after pleading and a few sit commands, Inuyasha had agreed to let them stay, even after having a bad feeling about it, he never brought it up.

The demon was a relative of Gatenmaru, who went by the name of Kochou. He looked similar to his older brother, having the same facial features and wearing a black and grey kimono that suited his large body. Although appearances identified Kochou as kin to Gatenmaru he was much more wild and strong, having possesion of a sacred jewel shard in his chest.

The battle was fierce and Inuyasha had lost the tetsusiaga when Kochou rammed him like a great bull flagging down a _red_ object. The insect demon made use of his bulky frame, and attacked constantly with no strategy, just rage for loosing his brother to the likes of Inuyasha, who was a Hanyou. Kagome could see the shard was tainted black, and wondered if Naraku had something to do with it.

After another blow to the stomach, Inuyasha was thrown back and landed in a heap, his sword thrown yards away. The demon gurgled and spat, getting ready to finish Inuyasha and feed on the remaining.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome screamed, fearing what would happen if Inuyasha didn't get the tetsusaiga in time.

"I'll suck him up with my hell hole." Miroku said pulling his beads back on his hand.

"You can't, you'll get the jewel shard too." Kagome reminded him, her eyes focused on the fallen Hanyou.

"What's this?" Kochou said with an ugly laugh. "Your aura is changing, half breed. Maybe now it will be a fair fight. that is before I consume you and your friends."

"Aura? Miroku that's not good." Sango said, getting a bad feeling about Inuyasha, who was beginning to stand up.

Kagome was so caught up she hadn't noticed the change in aura until the silver haired dog demon turned to face Kochou, who stood behind her. Markings on his once clear face and deep red eyes filled with hate inside the violet pupils was the new face Inuyasha wore. Her breath caught in her throat and she fell back, realizing what changed about her half demon.

**How can you see into my eyes, like open doors**  
**Leading you down into my core**  
**Where I've become so numb **  
**Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold **  
**Until you find it there and lead it back home**

"Heh. I'll turn you into a fucking blood bath, just like I did to your brother." He growled, his voice more deep and dangerous then usual.

_Inuyasha,_ Kagome thought as tears welled up in her eyes. _Your not yourself when you transform. You loose your human soul._

"Ignorant half breed, you changed into a disgusting beast. I'll hack you to bits and avenge my brother!" Kochou roared as he lurched at Inuyasha, his wide frame approaching fast and hard, like a train set on iron tracks, reaching it's destination.

"What do we do, Miroku?" Sango asked.

"There isn't much we can do. Inuyasha doesn't remember us when he turns into a full fledge demon. If we interfere he'll attack us as well." Miroku said sadly. "We'll have to wait until he finishes Kochou. If we come for him now we wont stand a chance."

Kagome's mind raced to the first time Inuyasha transformed. When Goshinki, an incarnation of Naraku, broke his tetsusaiga. Inuyasha evolved and slaughtered the demon in a matter of seconds, not realizing how vicious he was. After that was when Sesshomaru had come for the sword and Totosai blew a gust of flames; leaving Kagome to sit Inuyasha and Miroku knock him out with his staff. Then there was Gatenmaru, brother to the demon Kochou. He trapped Miroku and Inuyasha in a venomous cocoon, attempting to steal the tetsusaiga.  
Each time he became a full demon he killed the demons because he liked the idea of killing, if it wasn't for Kagome he would have went on a rampage throughout Japan, killing everyone he crossed paths with.

"Inuyasha, please, remember us!" Kagome yelled to the Youkai who was retracting his claws and cracking his knuckles.

**Wake me up**  
**Wake me up inside**  
**I can't wake up**  
**Wake me up inside**  
**Save me**  
**Call my name and save me from the dark**  
**Wake me up**  
**Bid my blood to run**  
**I can't wake up**  
**Before I come undone**  
**Save me**  
**Save me from the nothing I've become**

Inuyasha ignored her and lunged at Kochou, slashing his arm off with his claws, blood spurting on his face and staining his kimono. Kochou tried to stand but was pushed down by the strong demon as his claws started penetrating through Kochou's skin.

Kagome screamed out as she witnessed the blood that spewed from the dying demon, drenching Inuyasha in it who didn't seem to care, he was much to busy enjoying the suffering Youkai.

"Stop it, Inuyasha!" Miroku yelled, standing infront of Sango and Kagome to protect them. He held his staff, knowing in fear that when Inuyasha was finished he would surely turn on them, making them a next victim to the demonic side inside.

"I told you I'd gut you like a fish. Now look who's the beast." Inuyasha said before delivering the last strike, ending Kochou's life.

**Now that I know what I'm without**  
**You can't just leave me**  
**Breathe into me and make me real**  
**Bring me to life**

**Wake me up**  
**Wake me up inside**  
**I can't wake up**  
**Wake me up inside**  
**Save me**  
**Call my name and save me from the dark**  
**Wake me up**  
**Bid my blood to run**  
**I can't wake up**  
**Before I come undone**  
**Save me**  
**Save me from the nothing I've become**

When he finished, Inuyasha turned and stared at Miroku. Blood was splattered on his face and mattered in his hair, but he took no notice. His claws had turned ebony from the insides of Kochou, who was lying limp behind him, intestines falling out of his stomach. Inuyasha ran his eyes towards Sango's feared face then stopped at Kagome's. He started into her eyes with a desire to watch the blood fall out of he as he split her open.

**Bring me to life**  
**I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside**  
**Bring me to life**

"Inuyasha.. I know you don't want this." She whispered.

The demon paused in step, and gasped out in frusteration and confussion. He balled his hands into fists and started growling.

"Kagome! I think you might be getting through to his human side!" Miroku yelled as the wind picked up.

"Inuyasha, you want to stay human, don't you?" She asked, taking a step towards him.

"No, Kagome don't!" Shippo cried out from behind Kirara.

Inuyasha roared out and jumped back, the demon inside trying to stop the human from unleashing. His eyes began to fade but the demonic side held on.

"Come back to me, Inuyasha."

**Frozen inside without your touch without your love, darling**  
**Only you are the life among the dead**

Inuyasha let out a howl and grabbed his head in his hands, his stained fingers squeezing his head. He let out a growl and pulled his head up, the demonic eyes returned, the human trapped inside. He let out a sneer and sprinted towards Kagome, grabbing her arms with his sharper claws.

"It's you who stops the transformation, bitch." He growled, fangs sticking out of the corners of his twisted mouth.

Sango and Miroku stood back helpless as Inuyasha thrust his nails into her shoulders. They held their weapons, ready to stop Inuyasha if he injured or killed Kagome.

_I'll have no choice but to suck him up if he kills Kagome. No one will be able to turn himself back._ Miroku though with regret.

Sango tried to think of a strategy to stop Inuyasha before he hurt Kagome. _I could throw the hiraikotsu but I'd likely hit Kagome too._

"Kagome, run." Inuyasha grunted, the voice she loved escaped the Youkai's mouth. He was trying to stop himself, knowing what he was capable of, the human heart beat frantically, fearing Kagome's life.

"No, I won't leave you." Kagome cried.

**All this time I can't believe I couldn't see**  
**Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me**  
**I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems**  
**Got to open my eyes to everything**  
**Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul**  
**Don't let me die here**  
**There must be something more**  
**Bring me to life**

"I have no control." Inuyasha said, sweat running down his blood stained face.

"I won't leave you!" Kagome repeated. She knew he would kill her if the demon side returned, but that was a chance she was willing to take.

"My thoughts, my voice, my soul, they all disspear. I can't stop myself, Kagome. Get away, leave, go."

Kagome grabbed Inuyasha's kimono in her tiny hands and pulled on them, "I'm begging you." She choked out. "Don't let me die here, Inuyasha!"

"Kagome..." He breathed, before throwing her to the ground in a desparate attempt to get away from her alluring scent before the demon that was releasing himsef killed her.

Kagome tumbled on the dirt at the demonic being's feet. Her white cotton shirt was stained in dirt, and blood from Kochou. She struggled to move but a strong force threw her against her back on the hard ground as she stared into the blank eyes of the Youkai.

"Kagome!" Sango screamed, grabbing her hiraikotsu and hauling it towards Inuyasha, who blocked it with his forearm. The sound of bones shattering echoed though everyone's ears in a sickening snap.

Inuyasha held his unharmed claws to Kagome's neck; a thin stream of blood leaked out from under his hand. The sickly sweet scent of her blood made Inuyasha jolt and quiver. He raised his hand as he did with Kochou to end her life with a quick swipe of his razor sharp claws, as Miroku and Sango stood back, helpless against the demonic side.

Kagome cringed in fear, her eyes welled up in tears, "I love you." She whispered before closing her eyes as the hand came down.

**Wake me up**  
**Wake me up inside**  
**I can't wake up**  
**Wake me up inside**  
**Save me**  
**Call my name and save me from the dark**  
**Wake me up**  
**Bid my blood to run**  
**I can't wake up**  
**Before I come undone**  
**Save me**  
**Save me from the nothing I've become**

Inuyasha gasped out and stopped, inches from her exposed neck. Her blood was calling out to the demon side that was burried deep inside, but the human heart that beat for the miko made him stop in his tracks.

"Ka- Kagome.."

She opened her eyes to see Inuyasha above her, the Youkai still visable except for his eyes. His golden orbs had taken back their form and he looked down and what he had almost done, what he _had_ done.

Kagome let out a small smile, instantly forgiving him as she caught sight of his appearnce returning. "Inuyasha."

Inuyasha sat back and looked at his blood stained hands in fear, then at Kagome. He smelt her blood on his fingertips and felt vomit coming up his throat as he imagined what had been happening before he changed. He looked down at the girl who stared up at him, who still looked at him the same way after what he had almost acomplished. He felt hot tears stinging his eyeballs as he grabbed her gently but swift and pulled her into an embrace.

"Ka- I'm so sorry, forgive me. Kagome, I-" The words he tried to ease out caught up in his throat and he put his head down against her head and let a tear rain down on her raven hair.

"Shhh." Kagome soothed, nestling into him. "I forgive you."

Inuyasha sat there, not caring that Sango, Miroku, or Shippo saw. He drank in her scent and played the words she spoke over and over in his mind.

_I love you.. I love you.. I love you.. I love you.._

"I love you too, Kagome." He whispered, almost too quiet for her hear.

**Bring me to life**  
**I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside**  
**Bring me to life**

I've been re-editing this for a while now, unsure of how to end it. I do love this song, and I think Evanescence is a good band to compare Inuyasha to.

If you have any requests for me to write a song-fic one shot on your favorite Evanescence story, do tell me!


	2. Missing

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

Chapter 1: Missing.

Song: **Missing - Evanescence.**

Summary: When Inuyasha dissapears to meet Kikyou yet again, Kagome make an ultimate decision after her heart breaks with the knowledge and acceptance of being second to the dead miko that haunts Inuyasha's thoughts and feelings. Her decision rests on a single second.

Language: English.

Rating: M for language.

Genre 1 and 2: Angst and Romance.

Character 1 and 2: Inuyasha and Kagome.

POV in story: Third person.

POV in song: Kagome.

...

Kagome's tears fell onto her delicate cheeks as she ran through the dark forest, sheilding her face with her arms from low branches and possible spiderwebs.  
She let out soft whimpers as she headed towards her safe zone; the bone eaters well. Once she passed through that she wouldn't have to deal with Inuyasha and his two-timing anymore. He and Kikyou could take off where they left without her in the way.

She thought back to the previous events that triggered her leave.

_Inuyasha had been acting strange all day. His ears were constantly twitching, nose sniffed at the air, and eyes scanned the approaching distance. It was usual for him to be alert, always prepared for an attack, but this was different; he was more frantic. Worried? _

_Kagome had silently accepted he was acting this way because Kikyou was near. Whenever he picked up on her scent he would escape the group and scout her out. But this time he didn't, he stayed with them but his nervous antics never stopped.  
Kagome guessed it was because they had had a fight not too long ago, Kouga had shown up and Inuyasha had went into a crazy jealous phase which ended with a sit command. Inuyasha thought Kouga would return so he kept a close watch on Kagome since that morning._

_But it was until then that Inuyasha picked up on Naraku's scent mixed in with Kikyou's and took off full speed towards the scene, prepared to slay Naraku for coming close to Kikyou._

_His _Kikyou.

Kagome tripped on a wet root sticking up from the ground and toppled onto her stomach, letting out a small gasp. She lay there for a few moments, the ground molding into her clothes and face. Letting out her emotion she cried outloud and cringed from the cold.

"Inuyasha, I can't do this anymore." She sobbed into the dirt, then struggling to sit up and inspect her bruised knees.

**Please, please forgive me,**  
**But I won't be home again.**  
**Maybe someday you'll look up,**  
**And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one**  
**"Isn't something missing?"**

It was at the moment, while she looked at the small scrapes embedded in her knees and palms she decided she had to go home, for good. She stood up and brushed off her skirt the best she could, not caring about her face and hair mattered with mud and rain water. She could have a bath when she got home.

"You wont miss me, will you, Inuyasha?" She whispered as she looked up to see the tree of ages standing infront of her.

The tree stood still, leaves dancing with the wind and providing shelter from it's long thick branches. Kagome stood underneath it and bit her lip, wondering if Inuyasha even realized she had left the group.

_"Sango, I have to leave. I- I can't stay here any longer."_

_The demon slayer put a kind hand on her shoulder and smiled sadly. "I know, Kagome. Would you like Kirara to take you home?"_

_"No, the walk will help me think things through."_

_"Kagome, what will we tell Inuyasha when he returns?" The monk said softly, sadness in his understanding eyes. _

_Kagome winced as the thought of Inuyasha coming back after he had filled his desire with Kikyou, then demanding to know where Kagome was. They were all getting weary of his two-timing antics._

_"Tell him I went back to get supplies." Kagome said, knowing if he knew the truth he would immediately run after her, and probably getting to the well before her._

_"Be safe, Kagome. We'll all be here if you decide to return." The monk said, putting a comforting hand on the teary-eyed demon slayer._

Kagome sighed and rubbed her wounded hand. _He probably hasn't gotten back yet, he's probably still with Kikyou. Inuyasha, am I really not as important as Kikyou?_

**You won't cry for my absence, I know**  
**You forgot me long ago.**  
**Am I that unimportant?**  
**Am I so insignificant?**  
**Isn't something missing?**  
**Isn't someone missing me?**

With a fit of anger Kagome slammed her hand on the sacred tree, yelling out in frusteration. It wasn't fair, it wasn't right. After everything she did for him he chose Kikyou over her every single time.  
Kikyou hadn't given up as much as Kagome did, they were two different people.

Kikyou had hated the demon side of Inuyasha, she had loved him, but wanted to be with the human Inuyasha. She was selfish in a way, and she was willing to change Inuyasha for her happiness, so she could be free from the burden of the sacred jewel of four souls.  
Kagome had loved every part of Inuyasha, she didn't care what he was, if he was human, half, or full demon; she would have him either way. Why coudn't he see this?

_He's got his head too stuck in the past to realize,_ she thought glaring into the small hole that held Inuyasha to the tree for 50 years.

_I gave up my life; school, my friends, my family, all for him. To help him find these jewel shards, to be with him. I almost died so many times and he would save me each time, was it like that with Kikyou? Had she given up her life for him?_

_Kikyou died because of Naraku, not Inuyasha._ Kagome thought bitterly as she turned away from the tree.  
She had always thought of the tree to be their tree, but in truth it was more of Inuyasha and Kikyou's tree. Where they had met so many times, and said their goodbyes before Kikyou imprisioned Inuyasha to the tree, before she died.

Kagome turned on her heel and continued on her way towards the well. Her decision was made, she wouldn't interfere anymore. She would take the jewel shards home with her and give them to Souta for when Inuyasha came looking for them. She would hide out at her friends house for a few days, she needed to re-adjust to her old life. It was time to move on.

"Inuyasha, you could have tried to forget her. You could have tried to live a happy life, with me. Instead you played me along as your rebound for whenever she wasn't around. Not anymore!" Kagome yelled as the well came into view.

**Even though I'm the sacrifice,**  
**You won't try for me, not now.**  
**Though I'd die to know you love me,**  
**I'm all alone.**  
**Isn't someone missing me?**

She was standing a short running distance from her personal exit to the real world. A world Inuyasha didn't belong in, when she realized; she had never gotten this close to escaping before Inuyasha came running after her, using any excuse to persuade her to stay with him.

_I never made it this far before... _She let her thoughts trail off, half expecting him to appear from the forest at any given moment to stop her, but he didn't. Standing still with her head turned behind her, gazing into the entrance of the wood, she felt stupid for waiting. _It's all I do these days,_ She thought angrily. Wait around for him.

Kagome sighed wiped rain droplets off her forehead with the back of her hand. She wouldn't fall victim to his undecided love. Obviously, Kikyou was the choice if it came down to it, if not he wouldn't leave Kagome for her. Did he ever leave Kikyou for Kagome? That she knew the answer to.

"Why am I hesistating? I've already made up my mind, I'm going home." She scolded herself, not understanding why she hadn't moved.

_Old habits die hard.._ She almost laughed at the irony.

She was a human sacrifice, every single day she hunted the jewel shards next to Inuyasha. She was always getting kidnapped, struck at, wounded by someone. All for him. But Inuyasha swept it aside, he didn't pay attention to what Kagome encountered daily, for him. And each time he saved her, it added on to the infinite list of what she gave up for the half breed, each went un noticed.

**Please, please forgive me,**  
**But I won't be home again.**  
**I know what you do to yourself,**  
**I breathe deep and cry out,**  
**"Isn't something missing?**  
**Isn't someone missing me?"**

Letting the pain sink into her brain, she allowed her emotions to take over and build up the wall that was keeping out the annoying inner thought that constantly reminded Kagome she shouldn't leave.

Kagome shook her head as she reached the well, home was just a leap away. She would hide her scent by dousing herself in strong perfume and escape to her friend's house for a week, by then Souta would already have given Inuyasha the shards when he came looking for her, and she would never have to worry about him again.

_I'll date Hojo if I have to._ She thought with sarcasm.

Bracing her hands on the lip of the well she prepared to jump. Her mind was made, she had surrendered to the heart broken side she had hiden for so long. Desparate to return to her world and emotionally rebuild herself she took a deep breath and let pushed herself off the lip.

A second earlier was all she needed to have transported back into her world. Kagome had wondered months after that night what would have been the outcome if that one second was all hers. But it wasn't.

She was in the air, legs dangling iniside the well. She was being held, something was holding her from falling into the well, from returning to the future and starting over. Tears overwhelmed her eyes and she looked up to the figured that emerged from the forest without her knowledge. When her eyes met his the tears spilled down her cheeks.

**Even though I'm the sacrifice,**  
**You won't try for me, not now.**  
**Though I'd die to know you love me,**  
**I'm all alone.**  
**Isn't someone missing me?**

He looked down at her, in confussion, hurt, anger, but relieved all at the same time to see that she was okay, she hadn't had that one second that would have changed their lives forever. He wasn't a second too late.

"Kagome.." He breathed.

Inuyasha pulled her up with the extended arm that caught the back of her shirt, took her by the waist firmly in both hands and set her down on her feet gently, taking in her appearance. She was drenched in rain, and her white blouse was almost covered completely in mud, along with every other part on her body. He knew better to believe she had gone to collect medicine supplies, she wouldn't have looked like this if that were the case.

Instantly blaming himself for the tears rollling down her cheeks, he understood at once why she refused to look at him.

"You were leaving." He almost whispered, not taking his eyes off hers.

When she didn't answer he tried again. "Kagome, you were going home.. Weren't you." It wasn't a question.

"Answer me." He said quietly, resisting the urge to grab her and force her to look at him and reply.

"I was." Kagome said, choosing to look at his kimono then his eyes.

"Don't-" He started, but stopped.

"Don't what?"

"Don't go."

She broke then, the tears kept coming, harder this time. Kagome fell to her knees in a sob, but Inuyasha caught her before she hit the ground, frantically searching her face for answers he already knew.

"Kagome, what's wrong?" But he asked anyway.

"I can't do this anymore, Inuyasha, it hurts too much. I can't keep hanging around here while you-"

"While I what?" He asked, almost outraged by her sudden feelings and thoughts.

"While you abandon me for Kikyou!" She suddenly shouted. "I have to go home, it's time for me to leave, Inuyasha."

"No!" He yelled, slamming his fist into the ground, mud spitting up to hit him in the face. "Kagome I wont let you leave!"

"You're so selfish," She whispered. "You can't have both of us, and I accept th-"

He grabbed her mid sentence and pulled her into him, wrapping his long sleeves around her shivering body. The moonlight shone down on them, illuminating half of his face, while the other side stayed shadowed. Her raven hair covered her face like a dark curtain, while she sobbed into his chest, feelings of utter sadness and agony rise up in her throat.

**And if I bleed, I'll bleed,**  
**Knowing you don't care.**  
**And if I sleep just to dream of you**  
**I'll wake without you there,**  
**Isn't something missing?**  
**Isn't something...**

"I can't- I can't go on if your not here, Kagome. Haven't you realized that?"

"You do when you leave to find Kikyou." She murmmered into his chest, her cries softer now from the comfort of the Hanyou.

He ignored her. "I can't change what happened in the past, Kagome... I can't take back promises I made a long time ago. But- when that's all over with, when the jewel shard is completed, I.. I don't want you to dissapear. I want you to stay here, Kagome. With me."

She never said anything, but allowed the inner thought to win and craddle her heart in the warmth of his body, holding her into him, breathing his smell, the touch of his kimono, the beating of his heart, the thoughts of how she longed for him to embrace her like this.

Her thoughts didn't ease up, a thousand questions rang through her head as she thought of possible explanations to his actions and choice of words.

Was he really speaking from his human heart? Did he mean the things he told her? Or was it another excuse to keep her with him, now that Kikyou was gone?  
Those questions, Kagome didn't have the answers to.

**Even though I'm the sacrifice,**  
**You won't try for me, _not now._**  
**Though I'd die to know you love me,**  
**I'm all alone.**  
**Isn't someone missing me?**


End file.
